sidnugget:

like a  month ago this lady came into my health class and talked about internet safety and she said the government has access to all of our snapchats we send and i was really happy because the government owns probably over 500 pictures of my double chin i dont know what else she said because i fell asleep 

(via stability)

  • Parent: what does a cow say?
  • Baby: "moo!"
  • Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
  • Baby: "baah!"
  • Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
  • Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"

(Source: childpuncher, via bitchbot)

phosphorescentt:

can we please destroy this idea that a person has to talk to you every minute of every day to like you

texting all day is not natural

force communication all hours of the day is not natural

(via phillanthropist)

mylifeaskriz:

ruineshumaines:

Liz Climo on Tumblr.

this really cheered me up

(via mr-nice-watch)

officialdaddyegbert:

Gentle reminder that people working in customer service are paid to be nice to you and you should not fucking flirt with them because you’re probably making them extremely uncomfortable you piece of shit don’t force us into engaging your gross ass

(via fatitalianbroad)

sofapizza:

your sheep looks concerned

(Source: ilovepugs, via tastefullyoffensive)

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

you don’t realise how much tumblr has changed your view on things until you spend time with friends who don’t have tumblr and they say something and you’re just like

oh

(via dutchster)